Identity Crisis
by Zoya Shaf
Summary: Loki was getting bored. And everyone knew that when Loki got bored, things happened. Bad things. And why has Tony suddenly turned virtuous and Steve a player? Bruce has a new found love to perch himself on rooftops, and Clint has become Tony's new science buddy. Natasha has the strength to lift Mjolnir and has suddenly become very shy and Thor is the ultimate spy.


**A/N: This was probably a very bad idea since I have three other stories to work on ... but oh well, the idea wouldn't leave me alone.**

**I apologize in advance if this seems rushed/confusing. **

* * *

_**Loki, you bastard**_

The first thing Tony noticed was the smell. Hospitals always did have a peculiar smell; like antibiotics, disease, and death.

He hated hospitals.

Groaning, Tony turned his head side to side, eyes still reusing to open. His whole body was numb but it was quickly fading, revealing hidden pain. An aching sensation formed in his abdomen and spread its way through his whole body, his every muscle sore. With the pain, all his senses returned. He could finally blink his eyes open. Bringing his hands to his face, Tony rubbed the black spots in front of his eyes away.

As hard had he tried, he couldn't remember why he was in the hospital. Despite his body's protests, Tony straightened himself up into a sitting position, leaning against the cold metal frame of the bed.

Snail like, memory began to dawn on him.

He remembered suiting up. Had he gone out on a mission?

Tony examined his room. It was a single bed room, stark white, with a few hard plastic chairs next to the bed and alongside medical thingamabobs that measured his heart rate.

Nothing was out of the ordinary with the room, but Tony couldn't help but worry. If his hospitalization had been due to a mission than a) all the other Avengers should have been around his sick bed or b) they would be hospitalized, too.

As hard as he tried, as much as he scrunched his face up in thought, Tony couldn't recall what he had been doing earlier on in the day. What had he been suiting up for? What had his mission been?

Sighing in irritation, Tony ran a hand through his hair.

Immediately, he could tell that something was wrong. His hair felt different. Softer and more … proper. It didn't feel like it's usual unruly self.

Grasping a strand of his hair, he pulled it over his forehead, eyeballs turned upwards, trying to see the lock.

Since when was he a dirty blond?

And then it finally hit him and his hands flew to his chest, his fingers grasping at something that wasn't there.

Running his hands over his stomach, his chest, his arms, and his face, Tony realized that the body he was in wasn't his.

How was that even possible?

Tony Stark wasn't built but he did have muscle. But this … this was ridiculous: his abs had abs. Okay, maybe he was exaggerating, his abs didn't have abs, that wasn't even technically possible. Tony sighed. There his mind went running off on a tangent. Shaking himself, he turned his attention back to the matter at hand.

He counted the symptoms on his hands, which he noticed weren't callused like his. He had grown buffer and taller, his hair had changed colors. Running a hand over his face, Tony noticed that his features were also different. His beloved beard was gone.

Only one explanation came to mind and hurriedly Tony took off all the wires connecting him to the machines.

He needed a mirror.

Swinging his feet over the bed, he cringed as they touched the cold, hard floor. Pushing himself up, he leaned against the wall, waiting for the wave of dizziness to pass. Maybe, he should take things slowly, since after all, he was unfamiliar with this new body.

"Screw this," Tony muttered as he pushed himself straight. Taking a deep breath, he took a step forward, his legs shaking. He needed to get to the restroom.

He almost tripped on his own feet a few times, but finally Tony made it to the bathroom's door. Clammy hands gripping onto the doorknob, he threw the door open and walked inside, bracing himself for what he was going to see in the mirror.

"Crap."

* * *

Bruce lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling and wishing he could change out of the tight SHIELD uniform that he adorned.

He was too used to his slightly baggy, rugged, and comfortable clothes and the SHIELD uniform was anything but. Sighing, he turned to his side.

"When will this wear off?" He asked the empty hospital room around him. Fury was going to freak when he found out.

When Bruce had woken up, the pain he had felt was immense. He had laid silently on the hard mattress of the bed and recollected his thoughts, piecing back his memory little by little until he could see the scenes vividly in his head.

He couldn't have been the only one affected, that wouldn't make any sense.

Holding out his hand in front of him, Bruce examined them, marveling at the strange sight. Turning his hands so that he could see the palms, Bruce smiled at the scars on his fingertips. Tiny cuts ran up and down his fingers, new ones that bled and old ones that had healed and left their mark … markings that symbolized hands of an archer.

* * *

Thor's head was spinning, but other than that he was perfectly fine. He did feel a little strange though, slimmer and smaller. He remembered fighting with Loki and then something hit him, knocking him off his feet. It hadn't been Loki though. After that, his memory was one big blank.

In an attempt to rid himself of the dizziness, he ran a hand over his face, not noticing the softer skin, the smaller face stricter, or the lack of facial hair. His hands trailed down his neck and over his chest, heading down towards his stomach.

"Odin's beard!" He cried out, feeling something that shouldn't have been there.

He craned his neck up a little, looking down at his body. He cursed under his breath as understanding took ahold of him.

* * *

Natasha wished she could rip the wires on her arm off and storm out of the hospital, into Loki's lair and give him a piece of her mind. Sadly, she couldn't at the moment, since the doctor was leaning over her, flashing a light into her eyes.

She was going to murder the god as soon as she got her hands on him.

How was she supposed to operate in this bulky and huge body?

Plus, the beard was tickling her face.

* * *

Clint couldn't stop laughing. The nurse thought there was something wrong with him.

He tried assuring her that he was perfectly fine, that he had had worse encounters. It was just that this whole situation was so god damned funny. He even explained to her, in acute detail, everything that had happened, acting out the fight sequences with his hands, but in the end the way she looked at him signified that she thought he was crazy.

Despite the weird looks he was getting, Clint continued to laugh. He would have a lot of fun in the next few hours. Hopefully it would last for a couple of days. He wanted to take full advantage of this opportunity.

* * *

Steve's chest hurt.

It was the only thing he could focus on.

It didn't hurt as in, ugh, I just ran into a wall or, ouch! My fingers got trapped in the door. Nor was the pain anything like falling flat on your face on concrete.

The pain was like being alive while your every limb was torn apart. It was like being shredded into a million pieces, like being cut all over. It felt like his heart was burning, like his body was on fire.

He couldn't breathe and as he gasped for air, sweat traveled down the side of his head. He felt so much smaller than usual.

In another moment the stinging sensation in his chest died down. But then that moment passed.

Soon, his eyes watered and he closed them shut, wondering what had happened to him. He couldn't move his arms since they were all connected to wires and machines. If his arms weren't tied down, he would have pressed that little button besides his bed, calling for a nurse.

Darkness took over again.

Steve woke up with a start.

In front of him, a nurse loomed, looking through a clipboard of papers.

"Good to see you're awake, Mr. Stark. Currently, the doctor is tending to Mr. Banner. He'll be with you in a moment's time." Satisfied with what she saw written in the report, the nurse smiled at him and began to make her way out of the door.

"Wa … wait!" Steve called out after her.

"Yes, Mr. Stark? Is something the matter?"

"Why are you calling me Mr. Stark? I'm Steve Rogers."

The nurse's lips slightly parted.

"Right." She stared at him for a while before realizing that he wasn't joking. She walked back to the edge of his bed where the clipboard was hanging.

After looking through the papers again, the nurse looked up at him.

"No sign of head injuries," she muttered to herself. Steve still heard.

"The doctor will be with you in a moment," she repeated before walking out.

Confused, Steve turned his attention to the ceiling, running a hand over his face.

Immediately, he pulled back, suddenly unsure of his identity. He was Steve, right? Who else could he be?

In the seventy years that he had been asleep, he hadn't managed to grow facial hair. If he remembered correctly, he had shaved yesterday morning. Then why did he have beard?

Realization hit Steve hard, his memory flooding back.

"Oh God, no!"

* * *

_Earlier on in the day_ …

"Is he having his time of month or something, what's with the sudden," Clint paused his rant long enough to stab one of the slimy alien like creatures through its heart with his arrow. Grunting, he pushed the small, hunched over, blue creature aside, off the edge of the building.

Taking an arrow out of his bag, he adjusted it on the bow, and scanned the ground from the rooftop. Spotting a cluster of aliens, he shot, watching the arrow explode and tiny blue limbs go flying in the air.

"So, as I was saying, what's with the sudden mood swing?"

"That's what I asked," Tony's voice registered through the Avengers' earpieces.

"Let's just get this over." Steve said, grunting as he bashed one of the creatures in the head with his shield.

Currently, all the Avengers were in Central Park, trying to push back the aliens that had crept through a portal, compliments of Loki.

Thor was handed the job of dealing with him.

Truth be told, none of the Avengers knew what had happened. For three whole months, things had been calm. There were no invasions, no security threats, no nothing and life for the Avengers was bliss.

But then this idiot decided to go throw a tantrum for no apparent reason.

"He probably got bored." Tony mused as he soared above the trees, shooting lasers out at the creatures.

"This is getting ridiculous, we've been at it for almost two hours now." Natasha gritted her teeth as she shot a bullet through an alien's stomach. As the one fell, three more came running at her.

She was getting annoyed.

"Hulk, smash!" Hulk provided the unnecessary comment.

He went ignored, not that he minded.

"Thor, what's your progress?" Natasha asked, her irritation peaking by the moment.

Thor didn't respond. He was too busy talking to Loki.

The two brothers were near Belvedere Castle, having their usual word war.

"Brother, what is this insane foolery?"

Loki grinned, as he casually waved his staff from side to side.

"I got bored, _brother."_ The last word was said as a taunt. He was mocking Thor, jeering at him.

"I will have none of this! Close the portal before you force my hand!"

"Oo … threatening." Loki's grinned widened, a maniac light in his eyes.

"I see you will not listen to reason." Thor sighed, as he began to swing Mjolnir. This routine was getting old.

Before Thor could make his move, Loki shot out a ray of blue light from this scepter aiming at Thor, and teleported himself from the foot of Belvedere Castle to its top.

This whole affair was getting quite tedious; might as well deliver the finishing blow. After all, the mini attack wasn't even the main part of his plan.

Oh, Loki was going to have so much fun.

Laughing to himself, he swung his staff up and watched joyfully as it emitted a powerful wave.

* * *

"Sir, a high frequency wave is coming your way," Jarvis reported to Tony. "It seems that it is laced with Loki's magic."

Realizing what Jarvis' news meant, Tony spoke into his ear piece.

"Guys, move out. As far away from the perimeter as you can. Something's coming our way."

He didn't know what exactly the wave would do, but Tony would bet everything he owned that it would be troublesome.

He kicked his rockets into reverse and began to head out of the park.

He wasn't fast enough.

He could see a ripple in the sky and just as he ordered his rockets to launch, his suit shut down.

"Damn," Tony yelped, as he began to plummet to the ground.

Jarvis was unresponsive and as hard as he tried, Tony couldn't kick start his suit.

* * *

Natasha didn't mind getting her hands dirty.

Of course, that was meant figuratively.

As much as she struggled, she couldn't get the small alien creature off of her, leaving her with no choice but to punch the thing in its face.

What she didn't expect was for her hand to penetrate the creature's skin.

"Ugh," she groaned, removing her hand from the alien's skull. Her special gloves were covered in slime.

But, she would worry about that later. For now, she had to get out.

Kicking aside the creatures that were still running towards her, she ran through the park.

Unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough.

As soon as she saw the wave coming, she quickened her pace. In the end, the wave was faster.

As it hit, she was knocked off her feet, darkness taking ahold of her.

* * *

Hulk was have too much fun swinging the creatures in the air by their legs, like a lasso, to pay any heed to Tony's warning.

Nor did he notice the wave coming.

He certainly noticed it when it hit him, causing him to stumble back and fall to the ground, rendering him unconscious.

* * *

Steve would have liked to leave the situation alone and run for cover, but he couldn't.

What if the creatures managed to slip into the city?

Then innocent civilian lives would be at stake and if anyone got hurt, he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

He wouldn't run.

He braced himself for the worst as he saw the wave coming. Planting his feet firmly on the ground, he kept fighting.

* * *

Thor was the first one down, being that he was the closest to Loki at the time the wave was released.

As soon as he saw it coming, he knew what was going on. He could see Loki's magic vibrating through the air, and Thor knew that they were all doomed.

That's why he didn't even try to escape.

* * *

Clint thought that he'd gotten away safely. Being that he was atop one of the buildings surrounding Central Park, he was able to jump from roof to roof and get away from the battle field.

Yet, when he looked back, he still saw the rippling air coming towards him.

"Shit," he muttered as he began to move again.

In the end, he couldn't escape.

* * *

**A/N: Ah ... I could have done so much better with this but I guess for now, it's alright. What'd you guys think? **


End file.
